Thriving in healthy friendships

Thriving in healthy friendships

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the lyrics. – Anonymous.

Friendship is one of our sweetest gifts from God. And even if you’re an atheist and don’t believe in God; you have to admit friendship is amazing.

Did you know that a pen can make a mistake but a pencil cannot? Wondering how? I got you… A pencil has a true friend called an ‘eraser.’ Eraser is a true friend to a pencil which rubs and improves the mistakes made by the pencil.

One of the biggest regrets people have in life is not keeping better touch with their friends and loved ones. Most people on their deathbeds regret losing touch with old friends – and unfortunately, they can do nothing much about it.

When we are heart-broken we feel like the world is almost coming to an end and everything is falling apart and probably that there’s no one in this world who understands the state of our heart. However, we often find ourselves thinking about that one person in our lives; that one good friend who is always there for us and can sacrifice his time or anything else just for you, stills holds on even when everyone runs away. Of course, it feels good to have such a friend in our lives.

Here are some of the characteristics that make friendship thrive…

1. Loyalty.

A loyal friend is one who stands with you through thick and thin. It is said that a friend in need is a friend indeed. True friends stick by you through thick and thin, no matter how daunting the odds are, no matter whether you’re Public Enemy Number 1 or not, and no matter what kind of messes you get yourself into. They’re right there beside you, helping to create the mayhem. It’s like the old saying goes: a good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying. They go the extra mile of sacrificing themselves for the sake of their friends. It is pretty awesome to have a loyal friend.

2. Supportive.

As I always put ‘it is easier said than done.’ Human life is one of perpetual ups and downs, joys and woes, triumphs and tragedies. Celebrating a friend’s victories and commiserating with them in their defeats takes an immense amount of dedication, effort, and emotional energy. Emotionally backing friends in their daily struggles—to grow up, get married, build businesses, raise children, deal with heartbreak and tragedy – is a difficult and never-ending trial. But the truest friends are the ones who not only consistently stand by you in your darkest hours but make it look effortless. And they ask for no reward in return. They consider being supportive as part of their responsibility as a friend. These friends always got your back no matter what situation you’re about to walk into.

3. Honesty.

Part of being a good friend is being brutally honest when you need to. Friends shouldn’t allow or permit you to ruin yourself or others or turn a blind eye to your faults, failings, or excesses. Friends should build us up, make us better people, inspire us to transcend ourselves. Sometimes a direct confrontation isn’t even necessary—a good friend just has to step in sometimes to prevent us from debasing ourselves or betraying our principles when we’re weak or not thinking straight. A clear and unbiased outlook on the situation, tempered with an earnest desire to help and heal your friend’s pain, is the hallmark of a true friend.

4. Forgiveness.

One of the biggest differences between a friend and an ‘enemy?’ is forgiveness. Being good friends does not necessarily mean that things will always be smooth between the two of you; There will be some quarrels at some point and even disagreements. Far from it. It’s whether and how you make up afterward that makes for an enduring friendship. Realizing that friendship is worth the psychological effort of humbling yourself and finding, once again, the common ground which brought the pair of you together is part and parcel of being a good friend. And forgiving your friends is part of what makes us mature, upstanding, wise human beings. We are naturally bound to make mistakes and hence deserve forgiveness. God Himself forgave us and went ahead to give His only begotten son that we may be cleansed of our sins, who are we then not to forgive others?

5. Joy.

Good friends relieve stress, provide comfort and joy, and also prevent loneliness and isolation. Whether it’s lending a sympathetic ear, talking you through a crisis, or just engaging in general silliness and shenanigans, friends make you happy. They are fun to be around. They should be a positive influence in your life. If they instead influence you negatively then those are not good friends and you ought to run away from them. Being around them should lighten your mood and ease your mind. It is indeed joyful to have friends, isn’t it?

6. Trust.

This may be the most important trait of all. A friend you can trust is worth his weight in gold. Mutual trust is the glue that holds the best friendships together, even if those involved gripe at each other like an old married couple all the time. A friend you can trust to have your back, look out for your best interests, stand with you against all enemies, and cover you in a metaphorical gunfight—well, they’re worth their weight in diamonds and platinum. Having such a friend is something that every human being desires: they make life worth it even when it feels not.

In today’s generation, it seems like individuality and freedom are advocated more over the family and the community. The benefit is probably more innovation and creativity and freedom. The downside is worrying since it has led to more depression, anxiety, and loss of connection with friends and family.

If you are or have been a victim at one point, it is never late to get back to the right path and win yourself the right company. Everything starts with a single step. The best friend you can ever have in your life is Christ Jesus. If he is not your friend yet, make Him today and He will guide and sustain you and your friends, family, and community as far as your relationship with them is concerned.

Thank you for always reading through. Blessings galore!

Do not forget to leave your comment below.

9 Comments

    • Patoo

      Thank you Albert for taking your precious time to read through.

  1. Cynthia

    Thanking Patrick for the wonderful piece. Continue with the great work you are doing

  2. Titus

    Wow! A very insightful article brother Patrick. I am so grateful

  3. Samson ldaima

    Wow… a good and beautiful piece.

    • Dr. Garama Mramba

      It’s of great importance to make and maintain friends. The biggest heading have ever seen in the face of the earth is to keep friends

      BUT WHY??

      1. before you realize that you have afriend, she or he shall have lost loyalty. Some can be with you because of substance afora..when such paradox is denatured, the said friendship dissociate

      2. Change of status: some friends reclassify once the almighty God has faced them with His everlasting Glory of blessings. The village girl never become, the village boy never become, ALL enters into dillucianal universe of their own

      3. Gender based ectopia:
      Some friends like get excited by opposite gender and if the jungle traps evaporate, the friendship follow soot

  4. Virginia

    This is wonderful, I am in love with the article

  5. Brian Madara

    Thanks a lot for this Patoh. Keep going. Never let anything discourage you on this journey.
    This is really a great message!

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